... all your best laid plans for the week are shot to h*ll! I spent last week writing a detailed cleaning list for my house - including decluttering, scrubbing baseboards, even cleaning the light switchplates (a part of my home it never occurred to me to clean until I read FLYlady). We attended Forgiveness Vespers on Sunday, which gave me a joyous feeling of release. I got up Monday morning and took all the kids to the grocery store so they could help select the foods for Clean Week, came home and began checking things off the cleaning list. We attended the Canon of St. Andrew last night and sat on the front row (my kids seem to pay attention better when they are up front), and after an admonition from our priest at the start of the service about making sure children are removed if they become too loud (which filled my heart with dread at the thought of being the one to have to drag my child out), breezed through the service with four kids who must have been replaced in the car on the way to the church with angels, because even the 3 year old sang Lord have Mercy about a 1000 times for 2 hours. I beamed with pride (hint: here was probably the start of my downfall) as we drove home from church, tucked everyone into bed and went to bed myself.
Tuesday morning - time to dive back into all that cleaning right? HA, mom wakes up this morning with a stomach that rejects food, aching body parts and a headache that prevents me from thinking straight. No fever, so I don't know if this is flu, the beginnings of mastitis, or just one of the nasty stomach bugs going around.
So now, after hours on the couch fighting chills (I thought you only had chills when you had a fever?) I am trying to remember that glorious feeling I had when I left church Sunday. So, here are my thanksgivings for the day:
1. Thank you God that I had already planned to take off school this week, so we should not fall behind in our studies.
2. Thank you God for showing me that I am not in charge, and that I can only accomplish things if it be your will.
3. Thank you God for reminding me to answer "Yes, God willing" last night when someone asked if we would be at church tonight.
4. Thank you God for reminding me of these things in such a mild way. When I think of all the things that could happen to turn our lives upside down on a weekly basis, I am grateful that today all I have to deal with is some mild physical discomfort.
5. Thank you for giving me an excuse to sit and hold my baby today without the stress of feeling like I should be folding clothes.
There is a running joke in my family, when anything bad happens this time of year, the response is "It must be Lent". Well, it is definitely Lent!
My condolences - and true empathy. Our first week of Lent included my first official 4-hour comprehensive exam for my PhD. That would have been enough. BUT - in the last two days we had to put one car in the shop and my babysitter's kids got the flu. SO, we're dragging everyone around in one car and my husband had to take off work to keep the boys so I could take my exam. We did make it to church both nights - but only because if we don't go there isn't a service!! Hope you feel better soon! Sometimes the struggle isn't what we expected it would be, right?
ReplyDeleteHey, old friend! Welcome to blogdom. You express yourself so well and it's fun to have a peek into your life after a few years out of touch! (My sis-in-law, E.T. told me where to find your site and I'm so glad she did!)
ReplyDeleteSorry you're having one of those days! Spiritual battles can take many forms, can they not? I love your thoguths about holding the baby without feeling guilty...
Drop by for a visit!